Feelings of...

                            Six months until we meet together and listen to a prophets voice again...
    The messages that were given to us were words of inspiration, advice, and mostly love. I think Elder Holland's talk summed up what General Conference is every time. I usually leave conference feeling so rejuvinated and ready to take on the world with my armor in hand. I do feel that way but this time, I have a lot of other feelings too.

    The first feeling I have is gratitude. It was said that it's not easy to be a Latter Day Saint in a world so harsh. I always thought it was but more recently I have seen the difficulties the adversary can have on me. However, because I have the gospel in my life, I know how to combat these evil forces and stand valiant. I have gratitude for a prophet and apostles who love us individually and take the time to ponder and pray about what they speak on each conference.

    A feeling that I have come to be familiar with all to well the past few months is guilt. Right now, I have never felt more guilty. I feel like I can do so much better and I have the constant question burning in my brain of, "Am I good enough?" This conference our leaders spoke a lot on marriage. They counseled us to seek marriage, RIGHT NOW! Obviously, that is something I can't really do right now on a count of I am going on a mission. However, I am still not married. I haven't really written this down so as I type these next few sentences my heart is pouring out onto the keyboard through my fingers. Being married is all I have ever wanted since I was a little girl. As I got older, I came to know of the Lord's plan for me. I had to learn to make his will, my will. So there is nothing for me to do except what he wants me to. After coming to this knowledge, this is where the trial and adversary come in. I began to develop feelings of doubt in myself; my self esteem went to a low and I wondered if I would be a single sister forever. I finally shook those feelings by immersing myself in prayer, scripture study, and exercise. With the counsel given today, I guess I just am  feeling kind of bummed again because I can't heed that counsel right now. I guess the question now is, am I the exception for right now? Now, that I have got that all off my chest, I kind of feel like a goober. Are these feelings normal or am I just weird???

   I also have the feeling of get up and do! Service was mentioned quite a bit as well and it just makes me want to serve people. I pray that I may have opportunities to do so.